I've now been living "on my own" for about a month and a half. I'm not really sure what I expected in the first place, but I'm not really disappointed so that's probably a good sign, right? I spent a good long time this evening just reflecting a little on what brought me here, what's changed and what hasn't, what I miss and what I don't miss. Reflection is almost always beneficial, except when it's all you ever do. You run out of things to reflect on pretty quickly, as I would know from experience.
After watching this silly show about a bunch of socially inept physicists and engineers, I really started to miss math, funny as it sounds. I'm definitely not as smart as the 4 big nerds on this TV show, but I did understand part of what they were talking about at least most of the time. I now do no math at all on a regular basis after having taken math classes for the last 3 and 1/2 years of my life (I didn't have any my first semester when I thought I'd be a music major; that department was too dramatic for me). I might just pull my calculus book out and read it for fun sometime. Haha.
I also miss playing the piano. I have a piano in my new room, but it's out of tune (like one note will play three different pitches at once) and there is no room for my keyboard. I do miss it terribly. The guitar just isn't quite the same.
I do not miss having no time to read, however. I've been reading as much as possible and enjoying it a lot. The Three Musketeers is a very entertaining book, albeit very long. Knowing God is an excellent book also, but for much different reasons. Harry Potter is not exactly an excellent set of books, but they are good reading for pleasure.
Living "on my own" and having a job and not having an end goal of having a degree in my hand any more has really changed my mindset in a lot of ways. Possibilities seem to lay stretched out endlessly before me. (Whether or not these possibilities are probabilities remains to be seen as I have retained, if nothing else from the last 4 years of school, a tendency to procrastinate.) I do know, however, that the future really is in God's hands. I have most definitely developed a much stronger faith over the past few months as I have stepped out into this new world. It's been scary and challenging in a myriad of ways, but God's used each of those little things to help me get closer to Him, and that in all, is what this life is about anyway. So I know that I am indeed in very good Hands.
