Friends, hot cocoa, and Phase 10...

I have reached the end of my first week of classes. It wasn't a full week I guess (Monday was MLK JR. day), but it still counts, right? I found myself caught in this struggle to want to rush everything along even though I really have no control over the whole process. So, I'm trying to teach myself to really live in the day I have instead of rushing to the next one. I've been trying to teach myself that for the last 3 years, but now it seems a little more urgent. I only have a few more months (17 weeks to be exact. I still haven't quite gotten over my impatience to get out of Portales) before I graduate and the friends that I have and the life that I've lived and I probably part ways. So instead of worrying about what could happen to hitch up plans or really stress me out (i.e. RA difficulties, or a not so great grade on a test), I'm just trying to focus on the things that I'm enjoying right now. I spent the last two nights hanging out with a few of my best friends here just watching movies and playing games and enjoying some great homemade hot cocoa. It's been a good reminder for me to remember blessings instead of dread things that could become a curse. I started out the week worried and stressed out, but now I'm mostly at peace (minus the sleep that I'm missing as I write this :) ).

The other, more important thing, that I've been trying to learn is just to spend time with God every moment. It's something I did well in my first year of school, but things pile up to distract a person so I'm trying to relearn it again. Over the break, I realized how distant I'd really grown from my Father. A reflection from my little prayer journal right before Christmas: "As I grow older, it seems I realize more and more my wretched state. Or maybe I am growing more wretched." I wonder if this life is meant to be a striving for perfection, or a growing understanding of who God is, and who we are in comparison. Is that the same thing? I'm not really sure. All this to say, if it is the latter (growing in understanding of God by knowing him), I need to get back to that place where I yearn for his companionship moment by moment.
Ps. 27:4 -- One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.